NASCAR, Tesla to Transform Truck Series

by Julian Spivey

NASCAR president Steve Phelps announced on Monday, March 31, that the sport and Tesla have reached an agreement for the car company to sponsor the sport’s truck series, which Craftsman previously sponsored.

The particular financials have yet to be released, but the truck series will solely run Tesla Cybertrucks as part of the sponsorship deal. This deal eliminates Ford, Chevrolet and Toyota from the truck series. Those manufacturers will remain with the NASCAR Cup Series and Xfinity Series.

“NASCAR is the blood of this country. In fact, I think Sunoco gasoline and motor oil run in the veins of red America,” Tesla CEO Elon Musk said.

Phelps sees this as an excellent opportunity for the future of the sport.

“Nothing says America quite like Tesla! We’re proud to partner with the company and their Cybertruck line.”

The drivers of the NASCAR truck series had slightly mixed views on the collaboration between the sport and Tesla.

“I think it’s a great opportunity to build more of a true American first fan base,” said Billy Joe Burney. “Most NASCAR fans are already god-fearing conservative folks, but I think this is the pathway to making that number 100 percent.”

Two-time truck series champion Tony Vickers wasn’t a fan of the merger between NASCAR and Tesla. That is, until he learned that Tesla's CEO Musk has some key similarities with another legendary car maker of the past, Henry Ford.

“I’ve been a Ford driver all my career because. Not because I like how they drive, but because I appreciate founder Henry Ford’s views on the Jews. Oh, really? Musk doesn’t like ‘em either. Well, by God, bring those Cybertrucks on!”

It seems the one true standout against Tesla Cybertrucks coming into the NASCAR truck series was rookie Transam Jones.

“I have some major concerns about the safety of these Cybertrucks. Hell, they fall apart standing still. What do you think will happen when we get a bunch of ‘em in a pack at high speeds at Daytona?”
Phelps told the media on Monday that he didn’t believe there were any concerns about the safety of the Cybertrucks, and it was all a leftist ploy to make Musk, Tesla and America look bad.

“Those lefties can’t even tell the difference between a man and a woman … you think they know a damn thing about cars?”

Musk made some “vroom vroom” noises with his mouth as the press conference ended.