10 Songs I Hope Rudy Giuliani Performed on 'Masked Singer'

by Julian Spivey
Reports broke on Wednesday, February 2 that Rudy Giuliani, who served as part of President Donald Trump’s legal team that played such a huge role in claiming the 2020 Presidential election was rigged, stolen or frauded, was unmasked as a ‘Masked Singer’ on a recent taping of Fox’s hit reality singing competition “The Masked Singer.” Giuliani’s appearance on the show was so controversial it reportedly led to judges Ken Jeong and Robin Thicke briefly walking off the set.
​
There have been other controversial contestants on “The Masked Singer” before, but none of whom played such a crucial role in attempting to overthrow democracy.

But what’s done is done and even though Fox and the producers of “The Masked Singer” should be ashamed of themselves we might as well have a bit of fun with Giuliani’s appearance on the show.

Here are 10 songs I hope Giuliani had a chance to perform on the show:

10. “Rag Doll” by Frankie Valli & the Four Seasons
Remember when Rudy Giuliani was such a dumbass that he thought he booked a press conference at The Four Seasons hotel, but it turned out to be a landscaping business with the same name … and the dumb sumbitch went through with the press conference anyway? Giuliani was also pretty much Trump’s “Rag Doll,” so while this may not be the most famous Four Seasons hit it’s the one that fits the best and it was still a No. 1 in 1964. 

---

9. “Crazy” by Patsy Cline or “Crazy” by Gnarls Barkley or “Crazy” by Aerosmith or “Crazy” by K-Ci & JoJo
​
Honestly, any song title of “Crazy” would be fitting for Giuliani. I mean just look at this … 

Screenshot

---

8. “American Idiot” by Green Day
​
OK, so Giuliani almost certainly didn’t sing “American Idiot” on “The Masked Singer” because the Green Day classic is pretty much about American idiots like Giuliani. Maybe he has a bit of an ironic streak in him though? 

---

7. “The Bitch is Back” by Elton John
​
The bitch is back indeed. Damn it Fox and “Masked Singer”!!

---

6. “Bad Liar” by Selena Gomez
​
Honestly, I’m not sure I’ve ever even heard this song, but the title describes Giuliani to a T. 

---

5. “I Touch Myself” by Divinyls

Remember the scene in 2020’s Sacha Baron Cohen movie “Borat 2” where actress Maria Bakalova plays Borat’s 15-year old daughter, who ends up in a hotel room alone with Giuliani and he lays on the bed and puts his hand down his pants? You might not because he’s done so many other stupid things since then. 

---

4. “Whiskey Bent and Hell Bound” by Hank Williams Jr.
​
I don’t know if whiskey is Giuliani’s drink. He’s probably not man enough for it. But I am pretty confident he’s hell bound. Plus, I like the bonus points for knowing Hank Williams Jr. would probably hate having a song appear on this list. 

---

3. “I’d Lie for You (and That’s the Truth)” by Meat Loaf
​
This is pretty much the exact job description Giuliani had while working for Trump. Hell, it was probably on his letterhead. 

---

2. “Drink, Swear, Steal & Lie” by Michael Peterson
​
I’ll take “Rudy Giuliani’s Favorite Things to Do” for $400, Alex. 

---

1. “A Message to You Rudy” by The Specials

I legit can’t believe this is even a real thing! I don’t believe I’ve ever heard of this song, which was the lead single off The Special’s 1979 self-titled album. But just check out these lyrics:

“Stop your fooling around/Time you straighten right out/Better think of your future/Else you’ll wind up in jail/Rudy/A message to you, Rudy”

Hell, that could’ve been written today explicitly for Giuliani. The only problem is he’s past saving, has no future if he did, he wouldn’t be on the parade of has-beens that is “The Masked Singer” and we can only hope he’ll wind up in jail. The Specials tried to stop you, Rudy. You should have listened.