Mickey Mouse Found Innocent, Because What Else Would He Be?

Courtroom sketch

by Julian Spivey
Cheers rang out from the parking lot outside of the Walter E. Disney Courthouse in Orlando, Fla. on Friday afternoon (June 3) when the verdict was read in the defamation lawsuit between Mickey Mouse and his ex-wife Minnie and Minnie was found to have defamed Mickey in an op-ed titled The Mouse is a Louse published in October of 2019 in the Disney Weekly publication.

The verdict brought to end a contentious court battle between what was once one of America’s most famous married couples – a battle that was fought just as much in the public eye on social media as it was in the courthouse.

In The Mouse is a Louse, Minnie had contended that her marriage with Mickey was filled with infidelity and abuse (both physical and mental). Charges that the once squeaky clean imaged Mickey denied vehemently. Despite Minnie’s startling omissions of Mickey’s constant threat of violence and name-calling and her many affairs with fellow Disney celebrities ranging from all of the Princesses and even a menage a trois with Chip and Dale fans of Mickey maintained their faith in his innocence and wore shirts and held signs outside of the courthouse that read, “We grew up on Mickey! Minnie is the real monster.”

Shortly after the trial began videos began appearing on the social media site MouseTrap where social influencers began criticizing the on the stand performance of Minnie as fake, claiming she was a bad actress and according to one popular video, “the worst fake crier I’ve ever seen.” Another popular influencer going by the pseudonym “Free Mickey Mouse” contended that Minnie was the actual abusive one in the relationship and said to have graphic images of the starlet in bed with Remy from the 2007 Walt Disney Pictures release “Ratatouille.”

For many the court case was a sign that actual truth and facts don’t matter as much in the public eye as one’s onscreen persona. For the millions of fans online and those who showed up in person outside of the courthouse throughout the trial Mickey Mouse will always be that lovable rascal from “Steamboat Willie." Anyone claiming otherwise is merely a liar out to get his billions and ruin his image.

Shortly after the verdict was read and the trial concluded Mickey Mouse hopped on a private jet waiting for him at the Orlando International Airport and flew to Detroit where he was to meet up with oft-controversial rocker Ted Nugent for a recording jam session. Minnie was said to have left the courthouse in an old bootlegger tunnel and her whereabouts is currently unknown. “Free Mickey Mouse” put up a MouseTrap video shortly after claiming we probably wouldn’t hear from Minnie again and posited she’ll “no doubt be found dead in a gutter with a needle in her arm.”

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