 by Aprille Hanson
Somewhere along the way, country morphed into pop country then into bro country and now it’s a weird mash-up of electronic, rap and pop, but still calling itself country. It makes lists like this difficult because there are unfortunately endless choices. The country genre needs to stop being ashamed of itself or thinking it’s uncool to the point of desperately chasing whatever fans like for that moment in time. There were so many great country songs released this year, but you’ll hear very few on country radio. 1. Florida Georgia Line, “Anything Goes” … and “Confession” and “Sun Daze” FGL releases the same song over and over again -- most of their major hits have focused on partying and it’s gotten old after “Cruise.” Ok, sure, this is three songs, but you can really throw in their entire discography and this wouldn’t be just a top 10 list. “Anything Goes” in particular has some of their worst lyrics ever: “Alabama on the boombox, baby / ‘Bout to get a little boondock crazy/ ... Victoria's Secret ain’t a secret no more.” 2. Sam Hunt, “Break Up in a Small Town” Sam Hunt is a pop singer who likes to talk during his songs … rapping would be a stretch. There is nothing country about his music and he needs to find his proper genre. The only thing “country” in this song is the phrase “small town.” 3. Jason Aldean, “Burnin’ It Down” Everything about this song just sounds dirty and skanky; given everything with his divorce, cheating scandal and marriage to his mistress, it just seems like an odd song to release. When he sings “Jammin’ to some old Alabama with you, baby laying right here naked in my bed” it’s just weird. Songs like this that try to be sexy and mimic the magic of “Come a Little Closer” by Dierks Bentley fail miserably. 4. Zac Brown Band “Beautiful Drug” Zac, buddy, what’s happening? Do you need help? Are you being asked to make music against your will? If so, please let your fans know because that’s one of the very few excuses for “Beautiful Drug.” We miss you boys, so please come back home to good music. 5. Old Dominion, “Break Up With Him” Hey Girl. Wassup. … That never bodes well for a song and unless there’s a distinct reason that goes along with the story of the song, you shouldn’t opt to talk rather than sing part of it. It’s chauvinistic as too many songs are on country radio these days. 6. Cole Swindell “Let Me See Ya Girl” There is no point to this song. It’s just another bro-country mess about ultimately taking a girl back to his pickup truck and doing it. How original. 7. Jennifer Nettles “Sugar” Jennifer Nettles attempted to do something of a “enough is enough” about objectifying women in country songs, similar Maddie & Tae’s “Girl in a Country Song.” The result is a massive fail -- it’s a poppy, sickeningly “sweet” song about how guys say “gimme” (repeated 6 times) “some of that sugar” and how “they’re begging for a piece of my cherry pie.” Ick. 8. Brothers Osborne, “Stay a Little Longer” I’m bummed to put B.O. on this list. I loved “Rum” and I had no idea when I was researching and considering what songs to put on this list that this song was one of their’s. Worst lyrics: “One more drink leads to another / You slide up close to me / Tear the t-shirts off each other / Your hands all over me.” 9. Kelsea Ballerini, “Dibs” I hate to put another tomato on the list, but this song is an example of horrible songwriting. It’s particularly bad in the chorus: “I'm calling dibs / On your lips / On your kiss / On your time / Boy, I'm calling dibs / On your hand / On your heart / All mine.” 10. Luke Bryan “Kick the Dust Up” OK, I admit it again -- it’s a catchy song. But the lyrics are atrocious and the fact that “That’s what’s up, up” is a lyric just to rhyme with the lyric before it, which was coincidentally “up,” makes this a true songwriter’s nightmare. What do you think was the worst country song of the year?
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