by Zackary Kephart, Grant Ludmer & Julian Spivey There has been no shortage of horrible songs throughout the long history of country music. This isn’t because country music is prone to bad songs – although if you were to turn on a mainstream radio station today, you’d think that’s certainly the case and you couldn’t be blamed for it – it’s just that all genres of music have their duds. Despite this, every one of the songs that appears on this list have been released in the last 15 years. We didn’t mean for this to happen. We each compiled lists of the songs we consider to be the worst in the history of country music, combined all of the songs that appeared on our lists (we had more than the 40 you see here and some were older than 15 years ago) and then averaged the songs out from our rankings of that combined list. It just so happened that all of the songs prior to 2004 (and there was only a handful of them) fell off the list in the averaging. This is a sign of just how bad mainstream country music has been over the last decade-plus. It doesn’t even sound like the type of music many of us grew up loving and still love today when we get a chance to hear it. NOTE: Usually on this website whenever we do a list, we provide the songs below our snippets about them so you can check them out – but we’re not going to do that for this list because doing so would make us akin to drug dealers. 1. Vacation by Thomas Rhett In the history of music – both country and many other genres – the greatest songs of all-time have been written by one person. Sometimes it takes two. Thomas Rhett’s 2016 release “Vacation,” which charts-wise is his only real bomb, was written by 14 people. That’s almost one songwriter for every word in the damn song (all kidding aside some of the songwriters are from the ‘70s bad War because it samples 1975’s “Low Rider”). It’s got the snaps in it, which has become the latest annoying trend in mainstream country music. Rhett has made a living in the country music genre as a pop, R&B singer because he’s not good enough for those actual genres or he’s just riding on the coattails of his songwriter (and “That Ain’t My Truck” singer) father Rhett Akins getting his foot into the Nashville door. “Vacation” doesn’t even attempt to be a country song – there isn’t one snippet of it that sounds like what anybody who’s ever heard even one country song in their lifetime would consider “country music.” But the song was released to country radio, played on country radio and recorded by an artist who’s won country music awards. That’s enough for us to at least consider “Vacation” the worst country song of all-time. JS 2. Breakup in a Small Town by Sam Hunt The last six years that Sam Hunt has failed to release a new album have been really nice. Unfortunately, the damage Hunt has reaped on country music can never be undone. This song and the accompanying music video are fucking insane and the talk singing/production just make it so much worse. GL 3. Body Like a Back Road by Sam Hunt What is there to say that hasn't been said already about this song? This song makes your mouth drop each time you hear it, not because it’s breathtaking, but because it’s one of the biggest misogynistic songs you’ll ever hear in your life. The title really says it all, but even the comparisons he makes are downright creepy. Sam Hunt has no charisma, and thankfully this turd of a tune wasn’t enough to resurrect bro-country. ZK 4. ‘90s Country by Walker Hayes You know what makes a song country? Listing names of songs of famous ‘90s country songs while a douchey, middle aged guy talk sings. What made ‘90s country and country music prior to the ‘90s great was the storytelling and country instrumentation, none of which is present on this mess. GL 5. You Broke Up with Me by Walker Hayes Imagine being a worse version of Sam Hunt. Walker Hayes is the store brand version of Sam Hunt and “You Broke Up With Me” is perhaps the worst “country” song ever released. Hayes’ talk singing is so insufferable, and this song is pure douche. GL 6. Ridiculous by Haley Georgia Sadly, if this song were to be released to country radio in 2019, it would likely become a huge hit … at least if Hayley Georgia was a dude. In 2015, though, country music (thankfully) wasn’t ready for its own version of Iggy Azalea. Aside from the annoying cadence of the hook trying to cram an awkward innuendo into the mix, Georgia is unlikable as a performer. We haven’t heard from her since this song, so at least someone is looking out for country music fans. ZK 7. Donkey by Jerrod Neimann To be honest, I can look back at this song with a smile. I haven’t grown to like it, but with one bad single release, Jerrod Niemann effectively ended his short career resurgence. Perhaps more than most artists here, Niemann showcased a lot of potential with his debut album, but that was all lost by the time this song came around; a song where, since Jerrod Niemann put his car in the ditch and can't pay to fix it, he's going to ride into town on a donkey - you know, like he's Jesus riding into Jerusalem or something. As he says on another one of his songs, “I hope you get what you deserve.” ZK 8. Hotdamalama by Parmalee I still don’t even know what the hell a Parmalee is – maybe an Italian dish? – but either way I’m glad it’s finally seemed to have passed. Their (hopefully) last effort at superstardom was 2018’s “Hotdamalama,” which is country grammar for “we’re a bunch of dumbasses.” The song includes the phrase “delta donk.” That’s about all you need to know. JS 9. 1994 by Jason Aldean I’m a big fan of Joe Diffie. Maybe Jason Aldean is too? And, while name-dropping in modern country music is way out of control, I could’ve gotten behind an artist paying tribute to Diffie – if it actually made any goddamn since. Aldean’s ode to ‘90s country, before Walker Hayes was something anybody knew anything about, tried to turn Diffie’s surname into a verb or a dance or something. The song, which is essentially just Diffie song titles and lines placed back-to-back and “Hey Joe, Joe, Joe Diffie” as the chorus, was written by Thomas Rhett, Barry Dean and Luke Laird, but should’ve had Diffie listed as a songwriter and those clowns as “editor.” Aldean has done a lot of bad in his career, but this is arguably his worst. JS 10. B.Y.H.B. by Uncle Ray Ezra Washed up, middle aged pop singers (Uncle Kracker, Sugar Ray’s Mark McGrath and Better Than Ezra’s Kevin Griffin) join together to create the most bro-country song of all time. Yeah, it’s really bad. GL 11. Friend Zone by Danielle Bradberry Let me break it down to the facts – this song blows. After Danielle Bradbery’s first two solid singles failed to establish her as a legitimate pop-country artist, Bradbery took the unfortunate low road afterward. As the country music industry continuously fails its female artists, perhaps telling a man to “step up to the plate with a bat” in song *maybe* isn’t the best way to help this sordid picture. Bradbery has the talent, but she utterly failed everyone here, including herself. ZK 12. This Is How We Roll by Florida Georgia Line feat. Luke Bryan Florida. Georgia. Line. Can’t. Rap. They’re certainly free to try, but they always end up sucking at it, and “This Is How We Roll” is no exception. Otherwise, this track combined every element indicative of why mainstream country music sucked in 2014 – a hard-on for hip-hop tropes wrapped in redneck stereotypes and featuring the intelligence of your average Brantley Gilbert song. ZK 13. Back Porch Bottle Service by AJ McLean Raise your hand if you thought the Backstreet Boy that said he was going to disrupt country music would release a quality song. Thankfully this trash did nothing on the charts, but this song is an abomination. There is nothing “disruptive” or different about it. It’s as generic as any other stupid drinking song, just worse. GL 14. Sun Daze by Florida Georgia Line “I sit you up on a kitchen sink/And stick the pink umbrella in your drink” is one of the most vomitous lyrics I’ve ever heard in my life and that’s coming from a band that writes and sings a lot of vomitous stuff. Referring to one’s member as a “pink umbrella” in one of the oddest sexual innuendos I’ve ever heard is par for the course for Florida Georgia Line. If you love STDs, this is the song for you. FGL is the worst act in the history of country music. JS 15. Lookin’ for a Girl by Tim McGraw Surely even Tim McGraw would like to forget this song exists, right? The Big Machine Records era of McGraw’s career resulted in some fantastic songs, and by the end of his tenure, he completely returned to form, artistically. But along the way, we got songs like “Truck Yeah” and “Lookin’ For That Girl,” an auto tuned slathered, creepy song that even Country Weekly and RoughStock couldn’t give a positive review. Instead of discussing this song once again, let’s just put this conversation to bed and not inflict this on anyone else. ZK 16. Fix by Chris Lane Chris Lane is part of the bro, pop-country overproduced trash that is right at home at Big Loud Records. “Fix” is the epitome of creepy pick-up songs with Lane comparing himself to the high one experiences on meth. Lane even makes references to the “Breaking Bad” television show. This isn’t just a bad pop song; this is pure filth. GL 17. Meant to Be by FGL & Bebe Rexha As a pure pop song, “Meant To Be” is honestly a fairly mediocre track that doesn’t inspire passion either way. But in terms of pure historical impact, “Meant To Be” opened Pandora’s box, ushering in problems that we’re now dealing with in 2019. This isn’t a win for females in country music, and it isn’t a win for breaking down barriers elsewhere, either. Instead, this is just a pure celebration of the mono-genre, so hooray for mediocrity. ZK 18. That’s My Kind of Night by Luke Bryan It’s a Luke Bryan song, so naturally it’s not going to inspire much wit. Still, there was something different about “That’s My Kind Of Night,” a track that tried to fuse hip-hop tropes with backward, redneck imagery and call it “evolution.” This was bro-country at about its absolute worst. ZK 19. Save a Horse (Ride A Cowboy) by Big & Rich I know that others would likely disagree – maybe even Grant and Zack who are collaborating on this piece with me – but, Big & Rich’s 2004 smash “Save a Horse (Ride a Cowboy)” (which I’m surprised to learn wasn’t even a top 10 hit that year) was the beginning of it all and by “all” I mean the eventual downfall of mainstream country music. In 2004 this kind of hip-hop, “we’re all just here to party” bullshit was an outlier, but this seems to be a clear inspiration for all the douchebags that have come since. JS 20. Drink to That All Night by Jerrod Neimann Jerrod Niemann is responsible for some of the worst songs ever to be played on country radio. “Drink to That All Night” is an awful EDM jam and was preceded by “Donkey” which may be even worse. This is the kind of song you would expect to hear in a nightclub in L.A. not on country radio. Thankfully Niemann basically faded into obscurity after this was a hit, not subjecting us to any more of his awful music again. GL 21. Singles You Up by Jordan Davis This may actually be the douchiest song of all-time. Yes, it is also a pop song but let’s focus on the message of this song. A girl is in a relationship and this other guy is openly hitting on her telling her that it’s just a matter of time before she realizes that she should be with him and that if/when her current boyfriend and her break up, he will be dating her next. GL 22. Country Girl (Shake It for Me) by Luke Bryan One of the worst tropes of modern country music has been the treatment of women in song (and just by the industry in general) and one of the biggest purveyors of this has been Luke Bryan. His 2011 hit “Country Girl (Shake It for Me)” is one of the worst examples of how women in these bro-country songs are merely sexual fantasies. This song is nothing more than a man wanting a woman to shake her ass for him … and the crickets and the critters and the squirrels (aren’t squirrels also critters?) because we’re country by-God. This song is where my hatred for Luke Bryan shot through the roof. JS 23. Burnin’ It Down by Jason Aldean How do you name drop Alabama during this dreadful sex song? This is without a doubt one of Jason Aldean’s worst songs of all-time, but unfortunately, he was rewarded with one of his biggest hits of all-time. When did this filth become acceptable on country radio? GL 24. Corn Star by Craig Morgan “Corn Star” sounds like “Porn Star” hahaha! I can only imagine this is went through songwriter’s Jeffrey Steele (which even sounds like a porn star name) and Shane Minor when they came up with the idea for this song and thought they were being clever. I know that Craig Morgan’s career was basically over by the time this tripe was released in 2012, but it’s so painful to hear the guy who sang modern-day classics like “Almost Home” and “That’s What I Love About Sundays” stoop to this level of stupid. I think I’m often more offended when good performers choose to go this route than just shitty performers doing their thing. JS 25. Red Solo Cup by Toby Keith I know “Red Solo Cup” by Toby Keith is meant to be a fun-loving, non-serious ode to partying, but that doesn’t help me like it any more. The fact that it became a big hit and was seemingly played everywhere in 2011 and, unfortunately, frequently to this day just made it more annoying than it would’ve been as just a passing release. I think the biggest issue I took with the song is that Keith used to be a good artist, and this was further proof after a string of bad releases that he just didn’t give a fuck anymore. JS 26. Said No One Ever by Jana Kramer In 2015, Jana Kramer impressed everyone with “I Got The Boy,” a mature, excellent country song that went on to become her biggest hit to date. But the follow-up single, “Said No One Ever,” saw Kramer revert back to her worst tendencies – an overexaggerated drawl atop an utterly stupid, pointless song. It was an outdated joke by the time it was released, and if you want further proof of that, Old Dominion released a similar-sounding song around the same time. ZK 27. The Weekend by Brantley Gilbert Brantley Gilbert’s tired brand of machismo has worn old as evidenced by his lacking radio success. “The Weekend” is another grasp at bro-country gone wrong. GL 28. Beautiful Drug by Zac Brown Band Not to defend Luke Bryan, but at this point, he’s got more than enough ammunition to retaliate against Zac Brown claiming he has the worst country song in existence. For a band that wanted to branch out and craft a new, compelling artistic identity, they thought trading in a masterpiece like Uncaged was worth selling out for more success. Even the title of this song is stupid. ZK 29. Dirt Road Anthem by Jason Aldean You ever heard your white boy cousin try to rap? That’s kind of what Jason Aldean sounds like on “Dirt Road Anthem.” I hated this song so damn much when it was a huge hit in 2011, felt it could only mean bad things for the future of the genre, and things haven’t gotten better since. Aldean, though, has released even worse songs since – which is hard to imagine. One of my biggest complaints at the time “Dirt Road Anthem” was released was its name-dropping of George Jones, but now all these “country” dumbasses are name-dropping country legends in songs so obviously not inspired by the legends. JS 30. I Play Chicken with the Train by Cowboy Troy feat. Big & Rich There were a lot of bad things that came along when Big & Rich and their MuzikMafia, but one of the worst was Cowboy Troy and his hick-hop – which was one of the forerunners to one of the worst sounds country music has ever heard. When Aerosmith and Run-D.M.C. combined rock and hip-hop in the ‘80s on “Walk This Way” it was cool, but I haven’t found a mixture of country and hip-hop yet that I’d consider “cool.” Like most of today’s failed pop stars getting into country I can’t help but think Cowboy Troy was a hip-hop laughingstock just trying to make a career somewhere else. He ends this song with the statement: “get you some of that,” but my best advice would be “don’t.” JS 31. Parking Lot Party by Lee Brice Lee Brice has put out his share of bad songs over his career but “Parking Lot Party” without question is the worst. It is one of the dumbest, most upsetting songs that my ears have ever been exposed to. I am less intelligent for having heard this song. GL 32. Small Town Boy by Dustin Lynch Dustin Lynch is one of the most disappointing artists to have come on the country music scene ever. He entered the genre with a solid traditional country debut single “Cowboys and Angels,” wearing the cowboy hat and looking the part. Sadly, it was completely downhill from there to the point that all he does is release generic, safe pop music. GL 33. Brown Chicken Brown Cow by Trace Adkins Whatever hick figured out that the sexy porno sound “bow chicka bow wow” sounded like “brown chicken brown cow” should be shot. It was never funny, but inspired Trace Adkins to write the country music version of “Old McDonald’s Farm After Dark.” I’m sorry, but there’s nothing sexy about two rednecks getting it on while farm animals watch. Thankfully this bombed big time at country radio. JS 34. Honky Tonk Badonkadonk by Trace Adkins Trace Adkins has enough great country songs to have a 20-track “Greatest Hits” compilation and actually leave some good stuff off. That’s the sign of a truly great career. He’s also recorded some of the worst crap we’ve seen on Music Row. When “Honky Tonk Badonkadonk” came out in late 2005 I thought Adkins had lost his damn mind. After hearing stuff like “Swing” and the song that is coming directly after this one on this list it was confirmed. Luckily, it didn’t stay that way. This is one of those songs that was at the initial forefront of country music melding with hip-hop, except in some ways it was like a stereotypical parody of hip-hop, which kind of makes it even worse. JS 35. Bobbi with an I by Phil Vassar Phil Vassar has always been overrated, but “Bobbi with an I” is pure atrocity. It’s also one of the most offensive – not just with its stupidity, but with its subject matter – songs the country genre has ever seen. The title character Bobbi was one of the boys in high school, but now he’s transitioning or just likes dressing up as a woman. Vassar, of course, plays it as a joke. In actuality the joke is Vassar’s song and career. JS 36. Tippin’ Point by Dallas Smith Our friends up north of the border actually have some damn good country music themselves, and you need not look any further than Corb Lund, Lindi Ortega and Colter Wall for great examples. Even on the mainstream end, High Valley has been a wonderful addition to the mainstream country roster. But it’s also got its duds, and Dallas Smith is just about as bad as it gets. If you like auto tuned slathered, annoyingly repetitive bro-country songs, Smith has you covered. Otherwise, there’s little reason to care. ZK 37. My Girl by Dylan Scott This is a rare case of a song being offensively mediocre. The instrumentation and production are the prime example of how gutless mainstream country can get at its worst, and Scott only stands out for a distinctive baritone wasted on a clichéd song. ZK 38. Drunk Me by Mitchell Tenpenny Mitchell Tenpenny is awful. There are absolutely no redeeming qualities about him (his breakthrough song, after all, was titled “Bitches”) and he certainly has no place in country music. How many times must we be subjected to the trope comparing love to a drug addiction? At what point will that stop being cool or interesting? Asking for a friend. GL 39. Coming Home by Keith Urban Most of the song’s elements truthfully fail to stick out much in any capacity. It’s the ripping off of the Merle Haggard “Mama Tried” riff that solidifies its placement here. Nothing about this song makes any sense otherwise. From the lyrics which are broadly written at best, Julia Michaels serving absolutely no purpose here, and the aforementioned “tribute” to Haggard, this should really just be swept under the rug and forgotten. ZK 40. Stuck Like Glue by Sugarland I’m sure it’s an unpopular opinion, but I’ve always found Jennifer Nettles and her group/duo Sugarland to be annoying – mostly her voice that’s just nails on a chalkboard to my ears. But, “Stuck Like Glue” is world’s worse than anything else in their discography. The music intentionally made to sound like the worst person you’ve ever met loudly chewing and popping gum makes me want to put a fist through a wall. JS You can read more from Zackary Kephart at The Musical Divide. You can read more from Grant Ludmer at Critically Country. Let us know what you think of our list, what song you think is the worst of all-time, what we missed or what songs we included that you don't think belong in the comments ...
17 Comments
Alonsio
4/8/2020 08:02:07 am
ZK SUCKS
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Puke Bryan
7/15/2020 01:52:32 am
This is an impressively accurate list by someone who clearly pays attention to country music. I feel like Kane Brown deserves about 5 songs on this list though
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I hate zac brown, thomas rhett, KANE BROWN,and sugarlands voice makes my head hurt no joke
10/1/2020 09:22:34 am
I hate Thomas Rhett, Fgl, zac brown, and all this nee country crap. Sugarlands voice actually hurts my head.
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Julian Spivey
10/23/2020 11:34:30 pm
Sorry George. Your comment was accidentally deleted. My bad.
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Laraine
3/1/2021 11:23:11 am
I definitely agree that Sugarland sucks. Everytime it comes on the radio I have to leave the room or immediately turn it off.
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Aleigha
6/13/2021 01:46:45 am
Y'all I am very country country music is my life and shut up about Kane brown😡 he is a amazing singer and if u don't like it why diduread this
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6/30/2022 06:15:01 pm
You're Right, He is one of my favorite country singers, but Dustin Lynch is my absolute favorite country singer.
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Zach
11/27/2022 09:43:50 pm
Kane brown is terrible
Shemail B Goondall
7/24/2021 04:17:19 pm
I am very disappointed that Tim Mcgraws Truck Yeah was nowhere on the list as the ultimate worst country song
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Susan
2/26/2022 03:05:18 pm
Add Shania Twain’s Whose Bed Have Your Boots Been Under? to the list. I’m not offended by the subject matter. The song is just bad. Definitely not Shania’s best recording.
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handsomeblackcowboybrady68
3/14/2022 10:02:30 am
Actually,I LOVE "Save A Horse,Ride A Cowboy" (even if it IS kinda dumb;guess why ?) The rest ? Well,let me say that in most of those cases,my 16-month-old great-great- niece will write more intelligent fare when she enters second grade. (Or first grade,in the case of "Body Like A Back Road.")
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AC
9/16/2022 07:56:54 am
I hadn’t heard a lot of these so I listened to some and I realized I had actually heard all of these because all country songs sound the exact same
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Rose
12/14/2022 11:16:59 pm
This is so hilariously accurate oml
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Julie
5/10/2023 10:09:52 pm
I agree in the last 15 years country music has went from bad to worse. If any artists read this Please stop with the name dropping it is so over done.
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